rebuilding my self-esteem.

in short:

probably one of the hardest gigs I have ever played last night. I was at the mercy of stressed designers, given no time to practice, working with a broken CDJ and getting screamed at, with 10 seconds notice, when i had to change the song. not to mention a swooped finale by another dj, the icing on one very very disheartening cake.

but i put every last bit of blame on myself. I feel like a bad dj. I feel like i disappointed the people who put it on. I feel like i have no skill because i had trouble beatmatching with erratic and dysfunctional bpm reading on the CDJs that fluctuated from 130, 172, whatever, and were consistently 3 bpm apart.

why? because i am my own worst critic. and as i lay here with my 1 degree fever and a pile of homework i have yet to finish, i am trying to work past that.








sorry for the gross gut-spilling stuff. more super-stoic, rich in bi-cred, ultra-indie hip shit comin ASAP.
peace up, get down.